Sword Shopping

katana_openclipart

I needed a sword.

I bet that isn’t something you hear everyday, and if you have heard it it was probably someone joking about the best way to deal with a problem.

That wasn’t me. I needed a sword, and it wasn’t a joke.  It wasn’t for nefarious purposes either.  I confess that I am often seen wearing a hood and carrying archaic weapons, but I am neither a thug nor a vigilante.

I’m a writer. Writes don’t have time to be vigilantes. We are too busy figuring out ways to take over the world, then how to save it before we destroy it.

In this case, I needed a sword for Karate.  I was learning a sword kata and the twenty plus year old bokken I was using was showing its age.

Now a normal person might have just ordered a new one from their Karate instructor.  Since I’m sort of normal, that was what I was going to do.

Then my wife said these wonderful words to me. “Why don’t we go to the martial art’s store and you can pick out the one you want.”

Happy-Face

Imagine Tim, The Toolman, Talyor, being asked to go to the hardware store to pick up a screwdriver.  Yeah, I might have drooled a little.

A few days later we are driving to the Asian World of Martial Arts store in Philadelphia.  It’s basically the Home Depot of martial art store.

And I was going to get just one thing, a sword.

I picked up a sword. A 40″ wooden bokken with scabbard.

Next to it was a 24″ bokken. Hmm, that would be just about the right size for my minion. I picked it up too.  My bo and tonfas were as old as the bokken I was replacing. I picked them up too. I got a smaller bo for my minion.

I had been thinking about getting my own pair of sai for a while. The only ones I’ve used in the past were borrowed from a friend.  I grabbed them too.

Finally, I asked a salesperson to show me one of the katanas that I had been eyeballing on the AWMA website. Yep, that went onto the counter too.

Here’s what I walked out of the store with.

father_day_weapons_smallI am ready should modern technology suddenly fail in the midst of a zombie apocalypse.

Even Demons Need a Little Help

Dianna Sinovic read an excerpt from my short short, “Support Hell,” at the recent Battle of the Short Stories held at the Palmer Library. It was an honor to have her select something from my story, and I loved the way she performed the dialog.

In the scene she selected, a minor demon named Paz had just called Level Nine Support. Humans were preparing to evict him from his new home, and he needed help from a disgruntled support specialist.

small_GLVWG_CoverDianna Sinovic is the author of “Cold Front.” It is available in the GLVWG Writes Stuff anthology.

GLVWG Writes Stuff is available at amazon.com, amazon.com.uk or from the GLVWG website.

 

 

What if the League of Assassins had a Theme Song?

Image from arrow.wikia.com

Have you watched Arrow on the CW?  That show is one of the many things that fights for control of my time, but thanks to the power of TIVO I am able to resist. At least for a little while.

In the current season, The League of Assassins has decided that The Arrow will be their next leader. Now that might make sense based on the fact that The Arrow is this awesome, ninja-like vigilante who haunts the night.

What The League has failed to consider is that before Oliver Queen was The Arrow he was a rich-kid who spent all his time partying.

Or maybe they haven’t. Maybe the reason they want to have an ex-party-animal as their new leader is because they want him to lighten the place up.

Have you seen their lair? Nothing but open flames, bare stone, and instruments of death.  I think they are secretly hoping that Ollie will bring in an open bar, disco balls and some live music.

The League knows that It’s time to break free of their ancient traditions and move into the 21st century.

Rumor has it they even have a new theme song picked out to play when Ollie takes over.

One of my minions loves this song. Every morning while I am writing, he is sitting next to me playing The Ninja Song, and for the rest of the day “I’m a ninja, and I’m gonna gitcha.” is running through my head. Well, at least it pushed out The Banana Splits Song which amazingly is more popular on YouTube than The Ninja Song.

What do you think? Is that the right theme for the new, modern-era league, or is there another that would suit them better? What’s your favorite theme song?

Awesome, Heroic Fantasy Stories